I won't be home for Christmas...

Everyone says Chicago summers make the rest of the year worth it, but I personally fall in love with Chicago every Christmas season. It is so magical here and there is something that feels so nostalgic about being in the city. The city is decorated so beautifully, there are so many old school, cozy restaurants that actually get busier during the holiday season, and there are some really unique Chicago holiday traditions to experience. It's like there is something in the air, and I love walking around listening to Christmas music and soaking it all in.

When I was younger I always dreamed of growing up and having my own little, quiet family to celebrate the holidays with. I pictured cooking a beautiful gourmet dinner much like what I now cook for many of my friends on a regular basis. I couldn't wait until I was old enough to have my own cozy Christmas. (I know, shocker - I am actually a completely hopeless romantic day dreamer at heart).

I grew up in a really loud, big family and our holidays were pretty chaotic. From a young age, every year around the holidays I would end up having to be the one to step up and finish the things my mom never seemed to get done in time. I ended up finishing all of the cooking of the food we were supposed to bring to the family gathering, or finishing cleaning last minute when we were hosting, while she was instead putting on makeup and doing her hair for hours. She was never ready on time and I usually had to step up and get things done for her for pretty much as long as I can remember.

A few years ago I started working long hours at my last job and was on a case that had a bunch of huge deadlines around the holidays so I wasn't able to travel home for Christmas. It was kind of nice to have an excuse to have the quiet Christmas I always dreamed of. I woke up alone in my beautiful apartment with my pets, made a quiet breakfast, and enjoyed a Christmas dinner with my cousin and her husband. It was such a lovely and calm day and one of the Christmases I will always remember.

Most Thanksgivings and Christmases the last five years I have spent traveling through busy airports and staying at hotels. I have spent a lot of time with my sister and her kids for the Holidays, and if you know me, you know I am absolutely obsessed with her girls and I love being around them as much as I can. But traveling during the holidays can be exhausting. It can also feel lonely, looking around at her family and not having one of my own. I started thinking this year that if I had a husband and kids, I wouldn't be expected to travel for the holidays, just like I don't expect her to round up her kids to get on a plane to see me.

Something about that didn't quite sit right with me. I do have a family in Chicago, it just looks a bit different than that traditional family. I have many amazing friends who live here, including some who will be in Chicago solo this year, some who will be with their significant others, and some who will be with their whole families. These are the people I see on a weekly basis, who I talk to about life with every day, who are cheering for me and supporting me. All of these people have offered to spend the holidays with me and vice versa. There's such a beautiful community of people in Chicago who look out for each other and truly become each other's chosen family.

So, this year I am not flying out for the holidays. I am staying here and embracing the quiet holidays with family that I always dreamed of, even though my family looks way different than I expected when I was younger. I am hosting my two friends for Thanksgiving--a husband and wife (I am the best third wheel but still can't wait to double date all of my many couple friends). I am so excited to cook an entire Thanksgiving dinner - something I have always dreamed of doing. I have my tree up, am going to serve some amazing champagne from my collection, put on football, serve snackies, cook a turkey and all the side dishes. I can't wait.

Cheers to embracing yourself and life wherever you are, even if it is different than what you expected when you were younger.